(This is an old blog I wrote on myspace about a year and a half ago...my mom just ran a marathon so I thought I'd share my own account of when I tried to run one...well it was only a half marathon...but tough none-the-less)
The OC Marathon
Sunday January 6th…….
I don't exactly remember why, but a few months ago I decided it would be a good idea to run in the O.C. half marathon…well actually my mom sort of just signed me up. But anyway, Sunday was the big day and it was quite the experience. So while I sit here with my body hurting in places that I didn't even know existed, I thought I'd just jot down some thoughts about the day…
Wake up time: 6:30am…
I immediately regret that I am actually going to attempt to run a marathon…well half marathon. I also regret not really training for it. But what I regret the most is that I ate way to much Jack in the Box at midnight the night before…
We arrive at the start line…and its nuts…and I mean nuts. People really go all out for these things. I've never seen so much spandex in one area at one time.
7:30 start/Mile 1…Ipod troubles
The race starts and I immediately encounter trouble. My brother's ipod jams and I can't get it to work. The last thing I want is to be alone with my own thoughts for 13.1 miles so I have no choice but to stop on the side of the road and attempt to fix the damn thing. It takes me a good 3 or 4 minutes but thanks to some McIver-like abilities, I finally get it to work. Kudos to myself.
Mile 2… I realize how hard it is to drink water and run at the same time
It always looks so cool on TV when runners take the water from people on the side of the road and gulp it down in the middle of a race. What they don't tell you is how difficult it is to actually do that. My first attempt at a drink of water from the Dixie cup is disastrous. Half the water splashes onto my face and down my shirt, and barely any goes into my mouth. Not only am I thirsty, but now I look like I'm sweating profusely after only a mile of running…
Mile 3…Jim Doti
At the start of the third mile I spot the President of Chapman University (my alma mater) a little ahead of me running with a Chapman flag. Then for some reason I got what I thought was a great idea. I ran up to him and shook his hand (I was actually surprised he remembered me). Then I made a friendly suggestion…that if I beat him if he would pay off my student loans for me. He just smiled and said…"Well we'll see"… I'm awaiting confirmation
Mile 4…The old lady
I've put some distance between me and Jim now and I thought I was running at a pretty good pace until something unexpected happens…this little old lady goes zooming by me and on the way past…WINKS AT ME! She was at least 65 years old and my ego had taken a big hit. But I made myself a promise…that I would not let that cocky old lady beat me no matter what it took…
Mile 5…Another water stop
Same story as before…only this time I get less water into my mouth and I am completely soaked. 3 little kids also pass me.
Miles 6 and 7…I pick it up
I had had enough of saving my energy and I decided to really pick up the pace. I zoom past tons of people and feel like a real stud. A voice in the back of my head tells me to slow down because I'll die at the end, but I don't listen to it…this is my race now.
Mile 8…Confirmation of the voice in my head
Exhaustion sets in… I am really pushing my body's limits and my legs and limbs start feeling numb…but I won't stop. Things start to get a little fuzzy. I start singing a little too loud to my own songs on my ipod and people turn and look at me("I don't wanna be the one that has to burn no more"). I start wishing I would have trained. I start wishing I was no longer running…I realize that the last 5 miles were going to be all mental, and that scared me. Then I see the old lady.
Mile 9… Gotcha bitch
It may seem sad now that I resorted to attempting to beat a lady at least 35 years older than me…but it's the little things in life, you know. I catch up to her as we are running by a nice little pond and just as I pass her…I turn and give her a little wink. She glared back at me but she knew what was up. "Gotcha bitch" is what I said when I got a step ahead of her but I don't think she heard me cuz she was fiddling with her hearing aid…
I feel like death. I imagine this is what a comma is like. I'm hallucinating.
At mile 10 we pass a street very close to my work. I wished to God that I was at work that very moment, sitting at a warm desk helping rich people set-up retirement accounts. But then I knew that the next day I would be at work wishing I was outside running a race, and then I had a real conundrum on my hands.
Mile 11…2 terrible things
This was a bad mile. First, my ipod runs out of battery so the last 2 miles I am left with nothing but the extremely pessimistic thoughts in my head…and then I see my friend Humberto Rojas. Humberto was a state champion long distance runner in high school and college. He wanted ME to finish the race with him!! I was already ready to lie down in the street and die…but now I had to pick up the pace 10 fold. And he would not take NO for an answer. So we began to run…
Mile 11.5…I don't know where I am
All my senses are messed up and I genuinely thought the race would never end. I can no longer tell the difference between hot and cold. I run through a bush but don't feel it. A guy attempts to sell my a beer on the side of the road... i am tempted, very tempted...but i lacked money and figure i should stick to water during a marathon
Mile 12…I meet Jesus
At the 12 mile mark I hallucinate that I see Jesus. I figure it's because I was as close to death as I've ever been. I start to apologize to him for all the things I've done wrong and for the time when I was 10 and faked being sick so I didn't have to go to church. He tells me it's all ok and that he didn't remember that I did that… but thanks for reminding him. I said that I thought he knew everything. He said he does and that he was just kidding... and then gave me a wry Jesus smile…we both had a good laugh about that.
Mile 13…The Hill
Right before the end I grab my last drink of water from a nice lady. She tells me to "hang in there" and the only thing I think to say back is "God bless your soul"(I had just met Jesus) Then the jerk who designed the race thought it would be funny to put a nice little hill in the 13th mile of the race. In my head I began writing a death threat to him. Humberto urges me to keep up and keeps smiling and running like this is the greatest thing in the frickin world. I make a mental note to fight him once I recover.
The Finish Line… Salvation
The last 200 yards or so are lined with tons of cheering people. I make believe I'm in a movie and that they are all cheering for me. I wave at a few people and they look confused as to if they know me or not…I figure I've just run a marathon and I can wave at whoever the hell I want. Pure madness awaits me at the finish line. I feel like a rock star.
It was a great feeling, one of the best I've ever had actually. I couldn't feel any parts of my body, but it didn't matter. I finished. I had learned a lot over 13.1 miles, conquered large feats (the old lady finished well behind me), and was genuinely glad I had raced.
What a day, what a day.